Welcome back to week 5 of our series “Weekly Tips to Help you Stop Binge Eating”! Read the first four weeks here!
Do you have rules around food that dictate what you should or shouldn’t eat? Maybe you think, “I can’t eat dessert because sugar is bad,” or “Carbs at dinner will make me gain weight.” These are examples of food rules, and while they may seem like they’re keeping you “on track,” they’re often doing more harm than good by leading to overeating, guilt, and stress around food.
Food rules are sneaky because they disguise themselves as healthy habits. However, they can often leave you feeling restricted, which leads to binging on the very foods you’re trying to avoid. But don’t worry—we’re going to dive into how you can let go of these unhelpful rules and finally develop a healthier, more balanced relationship with food.
What Are Food Rules?
Food rules are strict guidelines we set for ourselves that dictate how we should eat. Often, they’re based on diet culture, misinformation, or experiences from past diets. Examples of food rules include:
- “Sugar is bad, and I should avoid it.”
- “I’m not allowed to eat after 7 p.m.”
- “Carbs are unhealthy and will make me gain weight.”
- “If I eat something unhealthy, I need to compensate by exercising.”
These rules might seem like they’re helping you make better choices, but in reality, they contribute to feelings of deprivation. This can lead to overeating or binge eating because when we restrict certain foods, we crave them even more. When we finally “give in,” it’s often in a way that feels out of control. So, how do we start breaking free from these rules?
Working Through Your Food Rules
Let’s go step by step to help you identify, challenge, and reframe your food rules.
1. How Have Your Food Rules Been Helpful?
While food rules can be harmful in the long run, they may have served a purpose at some point. Ask yourself: “How have these rules helped me in the past?” For example, maybe they provided a sense of control or structure when you felt overwhelmed by food choices.
Example: “My rule about avoiding sugar has helped me feel more in control of my eating at times, especially when I was feeling anxious about weight gain.”
Acknowledging how food rules have helped can be a good first step because it shows that your intentions were valid, even if the rule isn’t serving you anymore.
2. How Have Your Food Rules NOT Been Helpful?
Now, reflect on how these rules have been unhelpful. Have they led to feelings of deprivation? Have they caused overeating or guilt when you inevitably “break” them? Think about the negative impact they’ve had on your mental, emotional, or physical well-being.
Example: “My rule about avoiding sugar made me feel deprived and eventually led to bingeing on sweets when I couldn’t resist anymore.”
Being honest about how these rules have hurt you is key to letting them go. It helps you see that they aren’t serving your overall health or happiness.
3. What Would You Like Your Relationship With Those Foods to Be?
This is the fun part! Now that you’re starting to recognize how food rules have held you back, think about what you want your relationship with food to look like moving forward. Would you like to enjoy all foods without guilt? Do you want to be able to eat intuitively, trusting your body’s hunger and fullness cues?
Example: “I’d like to enjoy a dessert every now and then without feeling guilty. I want to savor it, not feel like I need to ‘make up for it’ later.”
By defining what you want your new relationship with food to be, you’re setting the stage for a healthier, more relaxed approach to eating.
4. Identify the Food Rule:
Pick one food rule that you want to challenge. It could be a rule like “I can’t eat carbs at dinner,” or “I’m not allowed to eat dessert.” Write it down.
Example: “Foods with sugar are bad, and I should avoid them.”
5. Are There Times When That Rule Hasn’t Been True?
Now, challenge the rule by asking yourself: “Has there ever been a time when this rule didn’t apply, and I was just fine?” Maybe you’ve eaten dessert at a friend’s birthday party and didn’t overeat or feel bad afterward. Or maybe you had carbs for dinner and still felt great.
Example: “Yes, I’ve had cake at a friend’s party before, and I didn’t overeat or feel terrible afterward. It was a fun, social event, and I enjoyed it.”
6. Reframe the Rule Based on Your Actual Experience
Now that you’ve identified times when the rule didn’t hold up, you can reframe it into something more flexible and balanced. Instead of saying, “Sugar is bad,” you might say, “Sugar is fine in moderation, and I can enjoy sweets without guilt when I feel like it.”
Example: “I can enjoy sugary foods occasionally, and they don’t make me unhealthy or ruin my progress. It’s okay to have dessert when I want it.”
Reframing the rule based on your lived experience helps you move away from all-or-nothing thinking and brings more balance into your approach to food.
7. Reflection
Now that you’ve gone through the process, take a moment to reflect. How does it feel to let go of that food rule? Does it feel liberating or a little scary? Remember, it’s normal to feel a bit of both—it’s part of the process!Example: “It feels scary to let go of the idea that sugar is ‘bad,’ but I also feel relieved. I’m excited to enjoy dessert without guilt and trust my body to tell me when I’ve had enough.”
Why It’s Important to Let Go of Food Rules
By holding on to rigid food rules, you’re setting yourself up for a cycle of restriction, guilt, and overeating. Letting go of these rules opens the door to a more intuitive and balanced way of eating. It allows you to honor your body’s hunger and fullness cues, enjoy all types of food without guilt, and focus on the bigger picture of overall wellness.
Letting go of food rules doesn’t mean you’ll lose control; it actually allows you to regain control in a more compassionate and sustainable way. When you trust your body and remove the fear and guilt around food, you can stop the cycle of overeating and start living a more joyful, satisfying life.
Final Thoughts
Breaking free from food rules can feel daunting at first, but it’s one of the most empowering steps you can take toward a healthier relationship with food. Start small by recognizing one or two rules you’ve been holding onto, and then challenge them using the framework we’ve talked about.
Remember, it’s not about perfection—it’s about progress. You deserve to feel free and relaxed around food, and with time and practice, you’ll get there.
So, what’s the first food rule you’re going to challenge? Trust yourself, and take that first step toward food freedom!
P.S. If you get stuck working through a food rule, or don’t know where to start, I would love to help! Book a free 15 minute discovery call, and we can connect!
